Shipping a Loved One

One of the most common questions we get when booking an ash scattering service is how to ensure the ashes arrive safely to Hawaii.

Most of our families have been holding onto the ashes of a loved one for awhile, sometimes even years, and when it comes to finally making the arrangements to say goodbye, have a hard time with the entire process let alone trusting an outside source with handing the ashes and ensuring they arrive safely in Hawaii for the memorial service. 

Some families decide to travel with the ashes, which you have every right to do under current TSA Regulations. However, if the cremains are traveling in a metal urn, or one that prevents TSA from seeing inside of the container you will not be allowed to carry on your loved one's ashes. 

From TSA's website: 

"Out of respect to the deceased and their family and friends, under no circumstances will an officer open the container even if the passenger requests this be done. Documentation from the funeral home is not sufficient to carry a crematory container through security and onto a plane without screening. 

You may transport the urn as checked baggage provided that it is successfully screened. We will screen the urn for explosive materials/devices using a variety of techniques; if cleared, it will be permitted as checked baggage only.  

Some airlines do not allow cremated remains as checked baggage so please check with your air carrier before attempting to transport a crematory container in checked baggage.  

Crematory containers are made from many different types of materials, all with varying thickness. At present, we cannot state for certain whether your particular crematory container can successfully pass through an X-ray machine. However, we suggest that you purchase a temporary or permanent crematory container made of a lighter weight material such as wood or plastic that can be successfully X-rayed."

Sounds like a lot of headache doesn't it?? 

Hawaii Ash Scatterings recommends on our site the use of USPS Priority Registered Mail. Most cremain containers the funeral homes provide fit nicely into the Flat Rate boxes provided for free at post offices across the US. Priority Boxes are also available for International customers. We recommend that you also request a Signature Confirmation to ensure that a representative of Hawaii Ash Scatterings received the ashes and they aren't left out in the elements but are brought into our secured home office. 

By shipping Priority Registered Mail through the United States Postal Service, you ensure your loved one's ashes will arrive quickly, as well as through a reliable and economical method of shipment. With tracking and/or signature confirmation you can have peace of mind that your loved one's ashes have arrived safely and are being handled by experienced professionals in the preparation for your cruise. 

**For outer island and non-floral services, shipping methods are slightly different, so please inquire directly with Hawaii Ash Scatterings for more information. 

What not to say.

We've all been there. A funeral, an ash scattering, a memorial service for a close family member or a friend of a friend a couple times removed. Not sure what mood to embrace. If it will be a event of celebration for the achievements of one's life or a time full of tears and mourning. We've also at some point or another been a little confused as to what may or may not be appropriate to say during an event such as this. Sure at weddings and birthdays you offer a congratulatory pat on the back, or the raise of a glass for the new and happy couple; but at an ash scattering?  

We've found that a lot of guests participating in our services are a little lost when it comes to this field, so as a result we have compiled a list of what is better left unsaid. 

He/She is in a better place.

There are few people who, while grieving a loss, will agree with you on this one. They may nod but really they are probably wishing for whoever has died to return to them. This has religious connotations and may provide some with relief but not all so is best left unsaid.

He/She looks so peaceful.

This is one of those classic silence breakers where the person saying it, does not actually believe it but feels the need to say something. Rule number one, silence is okay.

Let me know if there is anything I can do.

This is another classic phrase. Do not say this. Call them, drop by, send an email or a letter, drop in some food, bring them somewhere. They won’t know what you can do, so just do it.

I am sorry for your loss.

This gets said a lot and unfortunately has become generic as a result. A plain ‘I’m sorry’ is better and seems more heartfelt.

I know how you feel.

One of my pet peeves. No-one ever knows how you feel. Whether you have lost a pet, a mother, father, brother, grandmother, aunt, friend, uncle you didn’t even like, nobody will ever know how you feel about that person and the fact that they are not there anymore.

How are you feeling/holding up/keeping?

I can’t presume to know how they are feeling and they will not want to be asked this a million times. Everyone does it but what do they expect the answer to be?

He is finally at peace.

This is said to provide some form of comfort to those who are grieving but it does little to accomplish this.

I have been guilty of a number of these phrases myself over the years and so I know that the uttering of these phrases is never meant maliciously, or inappropriately but they are also void of feeling and are what I now call ‘silence killers’. If you are at a loss for what to say, simply say “I don’t know what to say”. Honesty can be the kindest thing to someone grieving.

My best advice when you are not sure is to give the person a hug and a little aloha spirit, as sometimes words are just not enough.

Aloha No to Thomas Notley

We honored a fallen veteran during a morning ash scattering off the coast of Honolulu. The intimate group was met by a US Navy Honor Guard Service at Kewalo Basin / Ala Moana Park as the two sailors presented the family with an American flag. 

After the service, we headed aboard our 40' sailing yacht, Love Boat for a calm cruise out of the harbor and into the open waters off of Oahu. After we were a good distance out to sea the family silently said goodbye and poured the ashes into the serene blue waters. After marking the location visually with fresh rose and plumeria petals, we circled twice while our Capt. recorded the GPS coordinates before heading back into the harbor. 

We were able to capture the entire service through our optional photography service available for families to remember the special occasion. 

For more information on our ash scattering services and to schedule a cruise, please visit our site at www.HawaiiAshScatterings.com.

Aloha: Meaning and Application to Ash Scatterings

Aloha is a word you hear often in Hawaii. While many visiting Hawaii are taught that it means hello, goodbye, love, etc. it's true meaning is much more powerful than a simple greeting. 

In the Hawaiian language, Aloha is a very spiritual word. The word itself is composed of two separate words each of equal importance to the overall meaning. Alo meaning presence or essence, and ha meaning life. When you wish someone Aloha, you acknowledge the life inside of them. 

In our ash scattering services at sea we acknowledge the life that lives on through us all. In Hawaii, young children are taught about the Spirit of Aloha through a little saying:

Aloha is being a part of all, and all being a part of me.

This saying is oh so relevant during our ash scattering cruises, because all those in attendance have interacted on some level with the deceased, and through that interaction they have become connected. Our kahus, or Hawaiian ministers, often discuss our lifeline, our bloodline, and how through this our family will always live on through us. Through this we can find comfort that our loved ones will never be truly gone, because our memories of them imprint onto our lives and effect the way we move forward with others.

This creates a chain through which we connect with everyone, living out the definition of Aloha. 

Aloha No to Chieko Billick

Saturday morning we had the priviledge of taking out the Billick family and friends to wish Aloha No (a final farewell) to their friend and mother, Chieko. 

It was a gorgeous morning to say goodbye, as the sea was calm and the skies were clear. We cruised out aboard our 72' Motor Vessel east towards Diamond Head and were joined by Kahu Kale who performed a lovely service on the meaning behind Aloha and how all of us are connected through the Spirit of Aloha. 

Chieko was released in a lauhala basket, which to those of you who are not familiar, is a handwoven Hawaiian basket. After her release, her closest friends and family release long stem roses and loose rose petals to mark the location of her sea burial visually, while our Captain recorded the GPS coordinates. As we cruised back towards the shore Kahu Kale serenaded us with Aloha Oe and other Hawaiian melodies.

Sushi being Chieko's favorite food, her friends and family then proceeded to toss individual California Rolls into the ocean as one last celebratory toast of remembrance to a good life. 

For more information on Chieko's life, and to share as a part of her Online Living Legacy please visit her site below.

http://www.memorialsolutions.com/sitemaker/memsol.cgi?user_id=649224&page=profile

Military Honor Guard Service

Most of our American military veterans and retirees are eligible for honor guard services at their memorial service. It is a beautiful, solemn service that recognizes and honors the family and their memory of a fallen warrior. A funeral home supplied burial flag is unfurled, folded and presented by the Honor Guard detail to the next of kin. A single bugler will play "Taps" along with a firing party shooting a 21 gun salute.

To determine eligibility we'll need a copy of the deceased's discharge certificate and/or additional identification. Depending on years of service, rank and a few other factors the family may be eligible for the Presidential Memorial Certificate, chaplain services and the services above. Our staff will research for you and determine which honors your deceased family member may be eligible for.

By booking a private Hawaii Ash Scattering - Memorial Service Charter you will retain our services in coordinating a US Military Color Guard service adjoining our Harbor, 1/2 hour prior to your scheduled charter with us. Our fee for this service runs $200. All branches of the Military are available throughout the State of Hawaii and are often available with a short lead time. More scheduling lead time is necessary for Neighbor Island Honor Guard Services. 

Our Kahu or Hawaiian clergy can conduct a Christian or non-denominational, short shoreside service after the honor guard service or at sea prior to spreading the veteran's ashes in the ocean. The Hawaiian Sea Wreath was developed with our florist to provide a floating floral after the deceased ashes have disappeared in the ocean. Made of indigenous Hawaiian flowers and bio-degradable products it is a beautiful tribute to a loved one. Another unique tradition in Hawaii is the use of the Hawaiian pu'olu. Our florist will make a natural, eco-green urn around the veteran's ashes. At the appropriate location at sea the family member will place the beautiful pu'olu in the ocean, avoiding ash blowback and know that the urn will quickly bio-degrade on the ocean floor.

Cultural Views Towards Ash Scatterings

For the last several thousand years, cremation, as well as the scattering of ashes at sea, has been embraced by many cultures throughout the world, specifically throughout the Pacific Islands such as Hawaii. Both cremation and traditional burial have gone through periods of preference throughout history; however, in recent times cremation has proved a more desirable alternative for honoring the deceased.

The earliest religions to not only embrace, but also prescribe cremation, were those of Indian descent. East Indian religions, such as Hinduism, Jainism, Sikhism and Buddhism , mandate cremation. In these religions, the body is seen as an instrument to carry the soul. According to Hindu philosophy the human body is a combination of five basic natural elements; namely agni (fire), jala (water), vayu (air), prithvi (earth) and akasha (space/ether). When one dies, fire ceases, and that living form is sent to its original state of creation. Fire, in the form of cremation, is used to complete the fifth element.

Throughout the Hawaiian island, cremation is regarded as the most popular burial method. The combination of fire and water having formed the islands, it is seen as a fit way of celebrating the circle of life. Through the process of ash scattering, all are reminded of the journey the soul takes.

Historically, in Christian cultures, cremation has been discouraged; however in modern day, it has become much more accepted throughout the various denominations. The early Church’s disapproval of cremation stemmed from several ideas. The first of those being that the body was an instrument through which sacraments were received therefore in and of itself, a sacramental, holy object. Secondly, the Church believed that the body being integrally connected with the human person, should be disposed of in a way that was to honor it and show reverence. This belief was due to the fact that many early cremation practices were viewed as pagan in origin, and an insult to the body. Lastly, the Church believed that by cremating a human’s remains it meant the denial of the resurrection of the body; however, this was refuted as early as Minucius Felix, in his dialogue Octavius. With the spread of Protestantism, churches became much more accepting of cremation, specifically the scattering of ashes at sea.

As time progresses and cultures continue to develop and change, ash scatterings are becoming a more symbolic approach to commemorating the deceased, as opposed to the more traditional burials. By opting for an ash scattering, the family and/or friends can celebrate a loved one’s life by participating in a ceremony that aides in bringing closure and acceptance to those left behind. No matter what cultural and geographical differences exist, ash scatterings are a timeless tradition that will continue to serve as a meaningful way to never forget those that have passed on.

Aloha and Welcome!

Aloha and Welcome to Hawaii Ash Scatterings' new blog!

Here we will be featuring content varying from grief counseling resources, information about ash scatterings, Hawaiiana, cremation services, as well as featuring recently performed ash scatterings, etc. 

We'll be updating the blog constantly so be sure to check back for news and updates. 

In the meantime, check in with us on the following Social Media platforms:

And of course our website!